Condescend to

My latest crush. Well, not exactly. It’s “condescending to”.

The word or phrase or metaphor or synonym or antonym or maybe a mannerism!

Condescend (followed by to) : pretend to be on equal terms with.

We grow up in a lovely family with appropriate relatives/neighbours having the most ethical friends. Where everyone wants to be a puritanical. However, we end up rationalizing everything as very derided.

All are good, we should love all, everything is fine.

How many times in your life have you heard that? Stop counting because the count is still running. Why do we not stop people from having coffee with no sugar or slapping someone for wearing green because you don’t like it or choking for having sweets because everyone knows it’s bad for health or flushing the cellphone for having a lousy ringtone? Democracy. That’s the answer. Everyone has a choice to be what they want and can definitely decide what kind of pillows to sleep on.

Then why do we have to condescend to others when we are in a public meeting or in a society gathering? Why are we so scared of saying a ‘no’ when we don’t mean a ‘yes’?

Simple answer.

We all like to be one among the flocks. It’s all about fitting in. So we manipulate, give false praises, smile to people whom we can’t stand.

I am assuming that we are not taught all this in elementary school or on a park bench.

Then why does a brain grows into a hysteria or a collectiveness where we put our heads down and believe that everything is alright. Nothing is. Nothing will be. It never was.

When we can’t make things right then we move on. There is a subtle difference. Do we move on with the guilt of not clearing what was right or do we move on because we know nothing can be done? Believe me, it’s correlated.

However, we are so happy to be amidst the people whom we believe are right for various unobjectionable reasons that we stop rationalizing things on our own. When having a pen of your choice is not a crime then why are we mocked for disagreeing with someone? Disagreeing doesn’t mean disrespecting.

In a world where communication is such an easy mean. Opinions flow like broken dams. Are we so opinionated that we can’t open our mind a wee bit to understand that there is also another side to a coin? Or do we always call a ‘head’ no matter what?

Sticking to your opinion doesn’t mean that you are right. It means that you believe in something that could be right and discarding that opinion once you realize that it’s not right is wise. But who cares.

We are more worried about being ashamed for changing our opinion because everyone will laugh at us. Why?

I don’t know.

They say that if you haven’t discarded an old opinion or acquired a new one, then check your pulses, you might be dead.

That brings me back to my first question. Why do we have to condescend to people?

I know my reasons for not doing it. You try to figure out yours.

Maybe you need few more crushes. This time it is a metaphor.

Critics

Human beings created two monumental things in their lives. One, language, to be able to blame & complain. Two, philosophy, to make others believe that their crap is right.

It requires a bee’s brain and an aardvark’s sensibility to understand what is happening around us. The best part, we still fake ourselves into dwelling around these horrendous activities.

Critic : person who reviews literary, artistic, etc. works.

You must have come across on television or in a showroom where nowadays models display luxurious cars. If you happen to ask them anything about the car, they will reply, “Oh! It’s a beautiful car, a wonderful car, it’s very nice, it’s lovely”.

For God’s sake, even my 5 years old nephew can represent a car in a much better way.

You don’t need models wearing skimpy clothes and explaining what a car is? I want to know all the details about the car, I can see how lovely it is.

I had the privilege to be in a conference room with the designers of a leading retail store company in India. When asked to the designer about what kind of bags he was looking for? He kept repeating ‘classy’, ‘premium’, ‘neat’ for the next 20 minutes.

You must have read a lot of critical writing in the newspaper about the movies that come out. Firstly, they are limited to a small column and secondly, they have a deadline to meet. They keep writing that ‘a’ actor was horrible in the movie and he should start taking acting classes.

The common point between the car’s display, designers and movie critics is that they all are inadequate for their jobs. They are more keen in making things more flamboyant rather than genuine. We need a person to display a car who can explain its engine, interiors and performance. We need a designer who can give intricate details about his product and not using attributes which a layman uses. ‘classy, ‘premium’, ‘neat’ differs from a person to person. Sketch on a piece of paper about what you need and not just be vocal. Well, no one is more vocal than these movie critics. Do they know anything about film-making? Do they understand even the lighting that is required? Just saying that an actor was bad is not enough. Please describe which scene, emotion or situation was inappropriate.

In my high school, I had a special subject called literature in English where we used to read the best poets, 400 pages of novels and then a 250 pages of critical analyses. The critics were well read, knew what they were writing and in most cases you would change your opinion about the book after reading these critics. They did detailed, intricate studies. Not just being vocal. They meant what they said.

I hope we all think what we want and say what we think and not just be vocal.

cleaning

the worst part with cleaning things is that, you are never satisfied and it always gets dirty.

Terminal

A conversation I had with an elderly man in july 2006 in an airport terminal.

All the passengers were sitting with the boarding pass waiting for the announcement.

Few weeks back there was a bomb blast at Mumbai’s railway stations so the security was tightened up.

The following is an excerpt from our long conversation,

Man: I hope u know about the bomb blast which took place in Mumbai

I : Yes

Man: you know there have been a series of delayed and cancelled flights coming from Delhi and Mumbai.

I : Yes, that’s because of the security I suppose.

Man: true. Don’t you think we are so lucky. Our flight is only 10 minutes late. Imagine

you were stranded in the Delhi airport for hours. What would you have done?

I : well, its certainly not a pleasant feeling to be stranded in a terminal. Especially if

you are not Tom Hanks. But, there is nothing much you can do about it. I would

have kept my nerves in check and kept looking at the display console for any

information.

Man: Hmmmmm. Would you have told other co-passengers at the airport to be calm as

well and not panic?

I : I don’t think so. Lets be real. I am not that strong nor do I have a panache to make

everyone understand in the airport. You just cant make people believe in you if you

don’t have the powers. The maximum that I could have done is, be composed and

and try to keep the person sitting on my right and on my left settled down and

explain it to them that there is nothing much that can be done.

Man: You are good. An abrupt question, do you mind joining politics?

I : Not at all. I don’t mind, as long as I have to talk with only the person on my right

and on my left.

Changing World

The world has changed exponentially. Is it good, bad, ugly, beautiful, fortunate or unfortunate? Well, let us leave that for the individual’s perspective.

There was a time when water was freely available. Now we have to shell money for the ‘safe’ packaged water. It is not long when you will ask a 12 year old about his address and his prompt reply will be, “It is crazy_fella@gmail.com.”

When answers were found from fathers & not by googling. When mothers used to be the junction of correction and understanding & not some counseling sessions by an NGO who will most probably wont even remember your name the next day, let alone knowing you completely. When grandparents’ stories used to be the reference of thought and creativity & not blogs. When fights with siblings used to be on a football and how long one will play & not on how long will one sit on the internet. When dinner time used to be the time of discussion and understanding each other & not punctuated by television and cell phone in the other hand. When saying good nights were a compulsion & not just an SMS. When people said take care with compassion and sense of belonging & not just a mere ‘tc’. When clothes were a necessity & not a statement. When fruits were eaten and not decorated. When one used to go to a florist and select their favourite flowers along with a hand-written note & not just e-cards and a musical bouquet. When ‘chitrahar’ used to be the time of melody and not a touch on the ipod. When men were noticed by their intellect and etiquette & not using the term IQ in every sentence. When friends used to exchange valuable information & not how expensive is each other’s gadgets/cars. When wind was enjoyed & not air-conditioners. When language used to be refined & not used for blaming/complaining. When people wanted to be artists so that they can make statues and not burn effigies.

I think I am still lagging behind time, so what if I like the light of the burning lantern, I can always download a pdf from the internet about lanterns under the topic antiques.

thermodynamics

there are many more disorderly systems than orderly ones, so processes evolve in the direction of disorder. and this is basically the second law of thermodynamics,

article 19-1(a)

i had written this article about the matter when Muslims were being targeted for refusing to sing 'Vande Matarm' by name i am Obaid Ahmed, by birth i am a boy, by address i am Calcutta,Kodaikanal,Bangalore, by nature i am humourous, by belief i am a Muslim, by nationality i am an Indian, all i m trying to say is, i have my belief in check, and i know that i m also an Indian. and according to Indian Constitution Article 19-1(a), everyone has a right of expression. when i say expression, it also includes being silent, which is a part of expression, so if i dont feel comfortable with even singing the most popular chart buster, i will not. referring to the topic, where it was mentioned that, we refer the country as "HER/SHE", well when u hear a cricket commentary, the ball is also referred to as a "she", "AND THERE SHE GOES OUT OF THE STADIUM". wat i m trying to say is, it is just a figure of speech. well, just a passing thought, i wonder if anyone would have recited the national anthem if there was a "HE" because every where "HE" with an uppercase 'H' is referred to the God. fights among the religion is getting out of hand. it is very inevitable for our generation. someone starts a small argument and in this world which is full of resources, the small argument is blown out of

proportion. from being the headlines of a daily newspaper to the dinning table discussion to the fight in a news channel which ultimately helps them with their TRPs. what i dont understand is, can we look into each other and answer whether, we are good Indians, good religious people, or maybe good human beings? we have so much of malice in each other, we have categorised our lives on yes or no, good or bad, black or white. wat we forget is, black & white looks good only on the chess board. lets live our lives n make our family n neighbours smile. frankly speaking, this is not our fault. its the fault of the bigger picture, which includes, the previous generation, the discrimination on various grounds, the fact that we were governed by external influences. we had kings and we had to submit ourselves to them, WE HAD TO BOW TO THEM TOO, we had the Brits, then we have our Government where we still write a formal letter to any higher post with the words "Respected Sir", and end with "your most obedient or loving or most faithfull". we still subconsciously submit ourselves to the "bigger" picture. we do it to our grand parents, to our parents, to our elders. so in India everything, every move of every person is not totally of his own. he/she has to take into consideration the bigger picture. he/she has to convince n keep happy everyone around him/her. we compromise so that the other person is happy. i say, let us all do wat we feel like doin n still b happy. we all r intelligent enough to realise that when the other person is gettin hurt. but that little thinking is missing among each other. as a youngster, i m disgusted with the mentality of the people around me. i feel suffocated. n i know that nothin can be done. the whole system is so ruined that we just cannot enter and try to clean it. this is gonna continue for another half a century or maybe more. wat i suggest is, lets not waste our knowlegde in practising such inhuman activities and smile and eat and be merry. having said that, i may be all wrong, but then thanks to the article 19-1(a). this time i choose to speak out,